I had planned a more uplifting subject for this post, but there is something that is burning within me. I will try not to ramble on…

It’s 1:00 AM. I can’t tear myself away from the TV. My heart breaks as I watch the unfolding news out of Dallas, yet another horrible event this week. As I am watching I can’t help but think back and try to pinpoint the moment when our country took the turn that has lead us to these events that are ever increasing. The more I think about it, I realize that it was more of a slow fade to this point. Some will say guns are the problem; some say racism is the culprit… I say that these are just two of the many symptoms of a bigger problem.

You see the problem is the heart…. It’s a problem with sin and integrity. For decades our country has been slowly separating from God. As a nation, our heart is far from Him. Society has decided that He is not needed… that we as humans can do a far better job running things on our own. Why should we submit to or pray to an otherworldly being for our prosperity and protection? The more advanced and intellectual man has become, the more foolish we have become. When we decided that the creator of the universe is no longer qualified to be a part of our decision making and moral compass, we set ourselves on the path to this insanity that we are witnessing today.

Human kind’s ego has become our god, and value for the lives of others has diminished in the shadow of a self-centered culture. We have literally sacrificed our integrity on the altar of pride and rebellion.

To so many, God represents restriction, when in reality He is the source of true freedom. He is also the source of true love. He IS love. When we remove God from the equation, we are removing love from the equation! When we remove love, we remove compassion. Unity cannot exist without love and compassion.

Please, please, please stop pointing fingers at different groups of people and realize who the real enemy is. Satan comes to kill, to steal and to destroy. He is the father of lies and the cultivator of division and hate. We are destroying each other while he laughs. God is weeping for our country and waiting for us to call upon His name.

We need a change of heart! It is time to take back our country and turn to God. He is our only hope in these perilous times.

My prayer is this:

That God would mercifully intervene on behalf of the citizens of Dallas.

That justice would be served.

That comfort would be given to the families of those who have been injured or killed.

That peace would flood over the innocents who have been emotionally scarred by what they witnessed.

That there would be a revelation of God’s love in Dallas with its inhabitants turning to God for healing.

That there would be a supernatural spirit of unity in the days and weeks to come. Instead of the beginning of more chaos let this be the beginning of healing in our nation.

God, please forgive us for thinking that we know better than You do.

Forgive us for waiting until tragedy strikes to call on Your name.

Please take control of our country, turn our hearts back to You.

Prosper us for Your glory.

Once again, make America a city on a hill proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

2 Chronicles 7:14

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

 

Please join me in praying for the people of Dallas and our nation….

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I have been absent from the blogosphere for a while…. There’s been sooooo much going on!

More on that later ;)

I have decided to write a brief post today because I am proud and thankful. For what, you might ask???? All politics aside, I am proud and thankful to be an AMERICAN.

Today we celebrate our independence, the day we declared ourselves a nation. So many men and women fought the long battle for our freedom in different ways, and many still fight today. This day represents perseverance to see through a dream of freedom and prosperity for future sons and daughters. I am thankful to live in freedom and proud of our heritage as a nation.

So today, as we enjoy our barbeques, fireworks, sparklers and fellowship, let us put aside our politics and remember the reason we celebrate….. We live in the land of the free and the home of the brave……

May God Bless America Once Again!

Everyone enjoy your holiday and check back soon for a new post!

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I just got in a shipment of beautifully blank mugs! I will be painting these up for everyone to buy! Also, at the top of the site you will notice a new menu. If you click on “order from Kellie G Designs”, it will take you straight to an order form. I am working on my samples this week and will post new photos soon… Until then, here’s a picture of the first three I created.

Mug Collage

And here is a picture of the colors I have to offer. Disclaimer… unfortunately I am sold out of the teal mugs. I will let you all know when I have more of them in stock. I am so excited to start crankin’ these babies out!

Confetti Mug Collage

Thank you so much to everyone who is supporting the effort to bring our little one home! Remember 10% of the proceeds go to Show Hope. They are helping orphans and adoptive families all around the world!

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Sorry, I have been absent on the blog for a bit…. I got some nasty crud and had to take some time to rest. I hope you all have been well.

Last weekend I posted this picture with the promise of further explanation.

IMG_2404-2

So…… the announcement is…….. I am re-launching Kellie G. Designs starting with the “chosen” line! The first product for my new line is a coffee mug with the word “chosen”. The proceeds for this line will go specifically towards financing our adoption! The word chosen is significant to me because that is so beautifully sums up adoption. I may not be able to conceive a child of my blood but I can choose to adopt a child who needs us to love and raise them. Our future child will know that he or she was chosen and fiercely fought for….That not only were they chosen by us but also by their Heavenly Father. And really, can’t we all identify with that word? All of us who are in Christ are chosen and adopted into His family! We were all orphaned by sin but now God offers us relationship through His Son. All who want it can be part of the family of God.

Cup designs

There’s another part that I am especially excited about! 10% of the profit from these mugs will be donated to Show Hope.

Show Hope is an organization who, among other things, aids families in adoption both domestically and internationally. I’m am so excited to be able to, not only finance our adoption but also to contribute to an organization who will in turn make it possible for others to make their own adoptions happen! To learn more about Show Hope visit showhope.org

I am so excited about this new chapter. I believe that God is making a way for me to be able to not only help finance our adoption but also to be able to help better support our growing family. I am looking forward to this great adventure that God is taking us on through our family life, ministry and now business!

For now, if you order directly from me the mugs will be $7 + $4 for shipping. I will be posting more details soon on how to order and they will be showing up in my Etsy shop soon.. In the mean time if you are interested just post a comment on the blog or on the “I Am Kellie G” Facebook page. Also, please be aware that these mugs are hand painted so it will take time to produce. However, I will get them out as quickly as possible. You can also talk to me about custom orders!

Until next time……….

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This time last week I was caught up in the middle of “Snowpocolypse 2016”. My husband, youth group, youth leaders and myself were on our way to Fine arts/Youth Convention at Copper Mountain in Colorado. We take a group every year and were all so excited. Well….the weather had other plans for us……

We were in the last 30 to 40 miles of our trip when we hit this….

Traffic was at a stand still. We thought we would be stuck for a bit and then let through… Two hours later we weren’t feeling quite as positive. We found out that we would have to turn back but traffic was still not moving so that we could do that! We were all going stir crazy, and everyone needed a bathroom, of course. The kids, my hubby and a male leader were in the church van with all of the kids. A female youth leader and myself were in her SUV behind them with some of the food…… Boredom was setting in. Suddenly, one of our boys jumps out of the van and into a small snowdrift on the side of the interstate, from our car we start gathering snow and throwing it at the back of the church van, more kids jump out of the van and started a snowball fight with someone in a truck back behind us. People were starting to stare…. We weren’t fazed by this….. We were taking some seriously frozen lemons and making lemonade!

Sherry and I got in on the fun by making some snapchat videos from our car.

 

We did not make it to Copper Mountain that day, but on the way back we did get to stop at BeauJo’s for some mountain pie.

BeauJo's

All in all, things did not go as planned but we were so proud of those teenagers and their attitude. It was a total bonding experience that I would not trade for a weekend in the mountains.

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Yes, I am alive and cancer free. Praise God! I’ve talked about my heartbreak, my fears, my loss……. But now, on the other side of my heartbreak, God is working in my life. He is so good and now I know that He definitely sees around the corner.

Let’s back track to a moment in my story that I didn’t cover before.

I was in the shower one morning before I had met with the oncologist for the first time….. During quiet moments like these the head games were attacking relentlessly.

I remember just starting to cry. I started to pray. I told God that I did not understand what was happening or why. I told him I was scared. Then I said words that I never thought I would be able to say. “God, I trust you with my life, and I trust you to give us a family in the way that You see fit.” This control freak had finally learned to let go.

Everyone’s life is a story. Some stories are just beginning, some are halfway written, and others are nearing the conclusion…… And then there are those whose stories are kind of being re-written. A long time ago I had written a story for myself but God has shown me time and again that what I wrote may not always be so. Sometimes life just deals you an unfair hand. I had no motivation write anymore, but God picked up the pen and started re-writing those chapters that were now just fiction.

I look back and see that God has been preparing me for this moment for so long. Why have I always been so stubborn? Why did I have such a problem letting go and trusting God with my future? Well, I don’t really know why, but I do know I will never again question God’s faithfulness. Looking back, I see that God had been preparing my heart for years……..

 


Since I was a teenager I had always wanted to adopt as well as have my own children. My heart broke for children who had no one to love them and raise them in a stable home. I knew that if I ever had the opportunity, I wanted to adopt. I even think back to when I was first married and the major earthquake in Haiti had just happened, so many stories of the countless children who had been orphaned by this catastrophic event. I remember telling my husband that I so wanted to adopt a Haitian child. My heart would ache every time I saw a news story. Of course, at the time he thought I was a little crazy and we laughed about it, but that seed that had been planted when I was so young was growing.

About 2 years or so before my diagnosis and surgery, a representative from Convoy of Hope had come to our church to speak to us about how our giving to Convoy of Hope touched so many lives….. Then he started to talk about orphaned children. He told a story about a baby who had been abandoned in a public toilet, miraculously survived and had been adopted by a living family. He spoke about how God loves those children who cannot be raised by their birthparents and need Godly couples to step up and parent such children. I cried the whole time. I felt like God was speaking to me about adoption but I did not tell anyone. I second-guessed myself thinking it was just my desperation to have a child that was surfacing. Looking back I know that God was really whispering to me.

And now here we are. We have just begun our adoption journey and are so excited for this new chapter! We are grateful for your continued prayers and support.

We are praying for our future child and his or her birth mother and father. We have taken our first required classes and now we are moving into fundraising mode.

Adoption is expensive and not for the faint of heart. There’s LOTS of paperwork and phases that we will go through as well. I was a little worried when we first decided to start the process. I kept wondering when I was going to be disappointed, but at every step so far God has just confirmed that this is for us and I have become more and more encouraged instead of discouraged. We are trusting that God will provide and help bring our little one home. After all, He is faithful.

At this point my blogging will become more diverse in subject matter, but don’t worry…… I will continue to write about this journey to adoption as well. Again, I cannot thank you all enough for your support!

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As far back as I can remember I had longed, above all else, to one day be a mother……

Buckle your seatbelts. This is going to be a lengthy post.

My husband Rob and myself tried for a few years to start a family, with no success. My body had been giving me clues that things were not right for a long time and things just kept getting worse. I had a doctor who was not very sensitive to these things and treated me like just another overly emotional woman desperate to get pregnant. I voiced my concerns that something besides infertility was wrong but was brushed off. I had started to wonder if I was crazy but I simply could not ignore what was going on with my body. Finally, a friend I had met through work mentioned a doctor who might listen to me and get to the bottom of my issues.

I went to my new doctor in January of 2015. My friend was right. This doctor did listen. She ran tests and quickly formulated a plan to find out what was wrong and hopefully help me get pregnant. My blood tests all came back normal and I was relieved. After about 3 months my body didn’t seem to be responding as it should. The doctor suggested I try it a little longer to see if my body would adjust, but it didn’t happen. I had a feeling that something was terribly wrong. I was getting scared and felt terrible all the time. My body was turning against me. By June I called the doctor and made another appointment. I could not get in until July. During youth camp, in June, I cried a lot during the night services. My energy level was low, I was worried and I was depressed. I didn’t tell anyone, but I had this fear that I was dying. I remember during worship one night I had prayed to God giving it to Him and saying that no matter what I would praise Him until my last breath…. Things were about to get real…..

On July 6 I went to my appointment. The doctor seemed confident that everything was fine but scheduled me for an ultrasound, just to be safe. After the ultrasound, I was very emotional. Something about the demeanor of the ultrasound tech gave me the feeling that she had found something. My husband was out of town on a day camping trip with our youth boys and was unreachable. I called my mom, and she calmed me down. I waited for the results while the walls of my home seemed to close in on me. Within a couple of hours I got the call. I could tell in her voice that I was not going to like what I was about to hear. My doctor began to tell me that I had a lot of fibroids; one was the size of a grapefruit. She stated that it would be very hard if not impossible for me to ever conceive. That was blow number one. I started to cry. Then she went further. She said that there was another grapefruit sized growth near my ovary. This growth was different from the others. She said it could be a dying fibroid or it could possibly be cancer……. blow number two. She was immediately referring me to an oncologist. I needed to have an MRI the same week. I could not stop the tears. I felt as if I couldn’t breath. In one phone conversation my two worst life-long fears had been realized. I will never be a mother…. barrenness….. AND I may have cancer.

I was overcome by fear and heartbreak. I felt as if my chest could not expand to breathe. I cried out in loud earth shattering sobs. Those walls that had been closing in were now falling on top of me. All I knew to do was pray. I cried out to God not understanding why I was facing all of this. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that not just one but two of my worst nightmares had materialized in my world. I prayed for strength because I knew I couldn’t handle this on my own. I also had a large group of teenage girls coming to my house for a sleepover in a matter of hours…. I couldn’t let them see me falling apart.

I did make it through that afternoon and the sleepover. There were LOTS of tears in the days and weeks to come. I had my appointment with the oncologist and immediately felt at peace with his handling my case. He looked over my films and decided that I needed surgery ASAP. He wasn’t sure what the growth was without removing it for testing. I went into the hospital for what should have been a two hour surgery. At the two hour mark the doctor called for my husband. Things were worse than he had expected. My uterus was so covered in calcified fibroids that he couldn’t see it. Oh, and that suspicious, grapefruit sized growth was actually my right ovary. My fallopian tubes were completely blocked. He told my husband that if I had ever become pregnant, it was likely that both myself and my child would have died from a uterine rupture and he was suspecting ovarian cancer. Then came the tough part….. he said he thought I needed a full hysterectomy but my husband had to make the call whether to go ahead or not. I cannot imagine how he felt, such a horrible decision to make. My heart breaks every time I think about him being put in that position. He took some time to speak to my Mother for support and then had to make the call to go ahead with the hysterectomy. My entire reproductive system, appendix and surrounding lymph nodes were all removed and sent to the lab. Two additional hours and 36 staples later I woke up in recovery. My oncologist immediately walked over to check on me. The first thing I said was, “how far did we have to go?”. He told me that I had had a total hysterectomy and a few other details. Remarkably, I remember all of this.

There are a few moments from that day that will forever be with me. The feeling of fear I had when my husband had to let go of my hand as I went past the point of no return and saying to God “ok, it’s just me and You now”, tears streaming down my face as I shifted myself onto the operating table uncertain of what I would wake up to. These memories still bring tears to my eyes, but there’s more than this….. Just as vividly I remember the feeling of peace that washed over me as I accepted the outcome that the doctor was explaining to me and drifted back off to sleep. Don’t get me wrong, there were times during the next days, weeks and even still that I have shed tears of mourning. My dreams had been shattered, but I was somehow able to see that God was taking those shattered pieces and creating a new dream for me.

After an eleven day stay in the hospital because of complications, I went home to wait for pathology results. The report was that I had a rare form of ovarian cancer in stage 2C. It was just at the point before it would have started spreading. The cancer had been contained to my ovaries and the doctor is confident that I am now cancer free. I am under the care of my oncologist for observation for the next 5 years, but I am alive.

I’ll stop here for now. There is more to come.

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Well, here it is, my first official post…… I decided that 2016 is a great year to start sharing my life with others out there. Don’t get me wrong, this blog will contain lots of interesting posts and projects, but it will also tell the ever-evolving story of my life. I am honored and humbled that you are taking the time to stop by and read this collection of simple words and punctuations that comes together as my blog. I hope you continue to join me on this journey.

So, you may ask, “Kellie G, what made you decide to start this blog? “ Well, there are a few reasons, but two major reasons why. One reason is just simply to have a creative outlet, but the biggest reason is because of 2015. I’m guessing that you also wonder why 2015 is a reason. Well, 2015 was one of the hardest and the most life-changing years of my existence. It was a year of uncertainty and loss. So many worries and changes. Challenges with my own health, worrying about my blood family members and in-laws who were also facing health challenges, being told that I would never conceive, changes with my job and being involved in an automobile accident that God miraculously spared all who were in the vehicle.

By mid-December, I was beyond ready to start a new year. I was ready to drop 2015 like a bad habit. 2016 has to be better, right? I am trusting God that 2016 will be a great year. To be honest….. I’m not expecting an easy year. 2016 will have it’s own challenges, but I do believe it will be a year of refreshing and restoration. I am claiming Jeremiah 29:11 over this year… Just in case you’re not familiar with it:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Back at the end of the summer there was a time when I felt like I had no hope and no future (more on this later). Now, with God’s help, I know that I do have hope and a future. I also like what verse 13 in the same chapter says:

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

In 2016 I am seeking Him with all of my heart and everything else will fall in to place.

Thank you again for stopping by. Hang in there with me, this blog is a work in progress! :)

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